Paths, Ways and Road Rash

At what age should a person begin to be responsible for themselves, their actions, their inactions, their choices, their commitments, their finances, their lives? I am overwhelmed as of late at the lack of responsibility in some of those around me. It truly is unbelievable...

And it gets even weirder...the more I try to face and deal with my issues, and the more I get over and conquer some, the more I notice the fantasy land that I was living in...the more I notice a few around me living in little fantasy worlds of their own. I'm at a loss. I have considered them friends since I've known them, but it upsets me that they don't or won't face reality...on any level.

I've found myself, at times, pulling so far away from them that they aren't really "friends" anymore, just so I don't get sucked back into the fantasy realm that I just woke from. Please, learn from me! By not facing your issues, or your fears, or your problems; by hiding, or justifying, you'll only dig yourself into a whole that gets harder and harder to get out. And when you finally do get out, you'll find that you have hurt so many to get out and that you yourself are hurt so deeply that you'll never be the same...

God wanted me to face some realities that I was running from...I was Jonah. In my running, my fantasy world, God provided for me the means to survive but he did not bless me as he would have if I faced my fear of putting myself in the spot light. I now realize this, and to some degree regret some, but definitely not ALL of my decisions between then and now, and my plans are to take this time that God has provided and prepare myself for what may come.

God wants different things for all of us, and if all we do is run, hide, cover up, justify or make excuses, we'll gain nothing from it. If you feel that God has you in some social, economic or spiritual position for a reason, don't let ANYTHING cloud it! By clouding the situation, other people will get a mixed or wrong message, and then it circulates back to you and all of a sudden...Where did your focus go? Not on being who, what or where God wants you to be, but on who, what and where YOU want you to be.

You know, God wanted me to be single for a very long time, but I would have nothing of it in high school. I didn't "play the field," but when I had a girlfriend, I made sure it was serious on some level. I was avoiding what God wanted to show me, what I needed to see and learn. So when I finally woke up and chose to face my issue, I broke a heart because I spent so much time and energy into building something that wouldn't last. After that, I got serious with God and from then until now, he has shown me a great many things about myself and about how I look at women.

But then I get anxious and decide to take the reigns toward the end of my college years. I decided that it was the best time for me to start dating again, and find a girlfriend...heh, I guess I'm not through being single because my walk failed miserably. I chose to take my walk in my own hands and instead of walking the path God wanted me on, I chose to walk a path that I wasn't ready for and ruined a friendship because of it, but I know God would take me down some day. Some day, God will take me down the path of finding a girlfriend...not now though.

There are reasons why God puts us in tough situations, and despite how much we want to hang on to an idea, or feeling, or person, we have to let go and not look back. We have to. Or else life just isn't healthy...and it'll only get worse the longer you hold on. We all have scars from things we've held onto, let's learn from our mistakes and walk the path that God has for us now.