So...Yeah...

So...I know it's been a while since the last entry. No excuses, just a mixture of lazy and lack of motivation...(are those the same?)

Anyway, I'm here now and am a bit lost...

I'm at a bit of a crossroads...or at least I'm coming up to one. Not quite sure yet. I feel like a choice is looming in the shadows waiting for something to happen before it jumps out for the surprise. It could be waiting for me to do something or to reach a certain point of life/maturity or whatever, but it's there. Everything tells me that I need to just focus on what's going on now and not put too much into this feeling yet, but my very nature has always been to worry about the future. That's my weakness; the future, the unknown...

I keep wanting to ask those around me how to deal with this fear, but at the moment they would just look at me in a "WTF" look and say to forget it...I can't stand that because I just can't let it go. For a day or so I'd be fine, but then the feeling comes as hard as some obsession.

I don't know. If there are two roads to go, is one necessarily right and the other wrong? Would they both lead to the same place? Or blah, blah, blah...the questions never stop. Well, I guess if I busy myself I'll get there soon enough; so whether I spend more time at work or doing freelance projects or hanging out with more/different friends, I'll get to the crossroad and make my choice then. Until then, I guess I should just let life influence me with what I surround myself with and let it be.

Let's see how long this lasts... :)